Why say sorry when u're not wrong.
I think i'm the one who should be sorry,
It's my own problem for falling in love so easily.
I'm the one who didn't learn to back off in the beginning.

So i'm sorry,
to both of you.
I wish you two
happy always.
appreciate each other.
stay together.

you guys deserve each other.
it took me alot of courage and strength to write this post.
i noe i've been emotional
but
how did u think i would react?

I will still like you,
and still talk to you.
but things might change and.
i dunno how well i can take this.

i was touched wen u talked to me like tat.
at least u gave me a jiao dai.
i dont blame neither of you.
i can only blame myself.

so now.
as i've said.
stay happy both of u.

my feeling now is indescribable.
even i dunno wat i'm thinking.
it hurts,
but i dunno y.
y?
someone answer me pls.
i need the answer.
y am i feeling so insecure?
y am i jealous at those who found love?
y am i feeling so screwed up wen i hear the news?
y y y y y

now these are questions that science cant answer.
so hu can??
aiyaiyaiyai.
i'm lost,
in my own head!!!
HELP!

PPIIANGG!!!!!!

very very hurt a
ngo ji dou ngo mm ying goi gam yong.
dan hai qi zong dou hai yat go wui yek
dim gong ngo dou can geng hou ngoi go kui.
ngo qi zong dou hai wui hurt geh.
yao kei si hai jeong kui gao bei yat go mm sun dak go ge sui yan,
dim xun??
ngo sui yiu yat go yan kam seng ngo,
tai seng ngo,
ngo yi ga jung yi ge hai go go kui.
GAO MENG A!!!

Pianngggg

lol

damn emo nowadays,
eversince he came back .
not suppose to happen!!!!
i dun wan him to think that i'm desperate and stuff..
==

this weekend,
all i did was watch tv.
haha
me and my tv.
my mom said i invented tv that's y i'm so addicted to it.
lol

i wonder y ppl dont update their blogs.
i have a fren hu didn't update his blog since his birthday on february ==
others only update once in a blue moon,
so,
now i got tired of viewing their blogs==
i mean,
then wats the point of having a blog wen u update only once in 6 months??
lol

wellll..
i'm of to studyy.
iish

UGH!!!! I'm pissed ==
^&$%&%*

okok.
today.
was a bad hair day for me.

after school,
i went to ts with phei to buy veges.
but we didnt buy,
walked to pav,
my shoe broke.
but we had heals.
but UNWILLINGLY,
i had to oput them on, but i dint wanna leave the toilet.
then walked to Roxy,
bought a flip flips,
then went up to Reef,
zap lap jor ==

so in the end,
wat i want i din buy,
wat i dun wan,
i had to buy.
==

so.
conclusion.
not a good day ==

WHEEEEEE =D
today.
school was fun!!!

PJK. we played bballl.
then lunch we play again.
with Mun Kit training us.

after school
they were suppose to have a bball match
but then it postponed to tmr.
so Jing , Joe Yang , Mun Kit , Sam , Kam Wai and Shi Hao went to Al-Wira for our lunch.
after that.
Shi Hao wanted to buy shoes.
so we went to TS
then walk walk..
suddenly went to play snooker ..
Sam and Shi HAo went to buy stuff.
Jing and i just sit there.
lol

then 5 o clock
we went back.

details .. details .. details..
ynG...ask me personally .

my mom left for Hadyai d.
so. i have to be independent.
zzzzzzzzzz
WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!
=(

owh well.
gtg
nite nite

If u wan to avoid me,
perfectly understandable.
but u cannot stop me from liking u.
or talking to ur frens.

HELLO!!!!!!!!
=)

note: this will be an emo post. if you don't feel like reading it, don't continue=)















Dear dairy,

I went for a movie just now,
with my mom and my brother.
We watched "Hannah Montana The Movie"

Well,
to be honest, the movie was great.
The moral of the story:
1. There's oways a place called HOME
2. Follow your DREAMS. don't fullfill OTHER PEOPLE'S DREAMS

it was touching.
i actually cried=)
not because of the movie,
but because i review it to myself.

WHAT ON EARTH HAVE I BEEN DOING??

Acting?
acting to gain ppl's love?
acting to gain friends?
I'm not me and i'm not free.
i can't do wat i want.

I'm not doing what i like.
I like performing!!! not studies.
i'm studying for my parents!
not me.
i wanna go on stage and sing, dance.
i wanna have fun!

i don't even wanna go science class next year.
i wanna go for arts.
have fun.

college,
go for performing arts.
go overseas for performing arts.

Fulfill my dream to be an artist.

I wanna have fun and NO ONE can stop me.
you guys wanna gossip about me?
go ahead!
i don't freaking care anymore=)

i just wanna have fun with my life and no one's gonna stop me=D
i will discuss with my parents about next year.
No more acting.
no more goodie to shoes
no more being bullied.
no more i'll do this do that.
NO MORE
END.



*yea. easy for me to say huh. dunno can do it anot. aiks.

wat the fish cake???????????
i so xing ku forget u.
now u come back.
haiz..
the moment i saw u
it brought back tons and tons of memories.
now i have to start alll over to forget him..
FISH CAKE!

after meeting him.
wen i go back to class.
i felt this guilt.
(grace wen u on9 talk to me)
i feel so dui bu qi.
but.
haiz.
wateva la.
he thinking wad oso we dunno ma
rite?
so nvm luu..

well..
that's propably wat i wanna say.

this few day's exam.
okok lu..
no comment.

english- not up to me to say. meta shuang shuang give mark..bu shuang dun give..so..
moral- hard like shit. but i dun give a damn abt moral=)
sej- hard but luckily i studied=D
kh- fuyoh. she gave us the exercise b4 exam so we noe wats coming out=D
seni- dun k
pjk- more dun k
science- pressure!!!!!! no capital letters, wrong. singular/plural..wrong. coma,fullstop..wrong.etc

tmr maths
GOD BLESS ME!
=)

if wanna noe how we celebrated my mom's birthday
pls go to my brother's blog and see.
btw
i wasn't acting cute.. i was promoting the ice cream=)

good bye for now=)

loves.

it's a long post and if u don't have the patient to read.
just skip it.

i spent my day browsing through my performanece pictures.
it has been 1 year since i stopped.
i realize.
dancing WAS my life..
now?? i dunno.

i had so much fun.
at least i used to.
looking back at the pictures and videos.
(really really old videos of me performing wen i was 3 or so)
makes me think..y did i stop??
owh ya..bastards at dance school.
but y did i let them ruin my dream??
every photos or videos taken, i was either smiling or laughing.
i had fun.
now.
i dunno how to find those moments again.
yes i smile and laugh in school
but it's just different.
its not wen i'm doing wat i LOVE to do.

i have a stack of dancing stuffs,
faded memories.
happy times.
wat i learnt during that 12 years.
those friends i made.
Leia, i've known her since i was wat..3?
we've been performing together since..forever.
wow.
yeap
i'm tearing.
y?
cos i miss my ex-life.
i miss laughing over silly jokes we made.
i miss games we played while waiting for the show to start.
i miss shouting "AAAAA!!!" wen we see a star.
i miss cam-whoring.
i miss em costumes.
i miss squizing in a small car with ten ppl and costume bags.
i miss babysiting my little juniors.
i miss rehearsals
i miss laughing over making silly mistakes.
i miss doing each other's make ups.
i miss showing off to the world with u guys.
i miss promoting PSD with u guys.
i miss those times where we fight to stand infront in a dance.
i miss hanging out at the studio rite after school everyday until my mom comes back from her work and pick me up.
i miss my second home, my second life.
i miss those times.
i miss sewing beats and sequence on our costumes.
i miss going shopping for make ups, costumes and stuffs.
its a time of my life.

yes.
we had ups and downs.
yes.
stuffs turned bad. (ever since u-noe-who came in)
yes.
we're all big girls.
yes.
things change.
yes.
i hate u for ruining my dream.

but tat doesn't mean i don't miss u guys.
i really do.
i wanna go and do shows with u guys.
i wanna go for rehearsals with u guys.
i wanna make up, put on costumes and stuff.

but all has changed now.
i noe deep down.
i still wanna dance.
dance my heart out.
express by dancing.
but i can't
i keep teling ppl.
"owh pls..dun make me dance.."
"no..i dun wanna be a dancer wen i grow up"
"i dun wanna be anythign related to dancing wen i grow up"
but.
seeing dancing is my childhood.
wat i do.
wat i *did for 12 years.
its not easy to suddenly just hate it.

so i wanna admit tat
YES I LOVE DANCING.
I LOVE PUPPET SHOULDERS EVEN IF THINGS CHANGED.
I LOVE LEIA,MELISSA,SUERAYA,AMANDA ETC
I LOVE STAYING THERE DOING MY HOMEWORK AFTER SCHOOL.
I LOVE SPENDING 90% OF MY TIME AT PSD.
I LOVE MS SONIA, MS ESTER AND MS ONG.

my feeling now is hard to describe.
its like.
i wanna go back but i can't
things are different.
no way back
=(

this was my family.
my life.

well.
there are alot more memorable photos
but i think i shall keep them to myself=)
as remembrance.

i have this fren *erhem u noe hu u r
she like this guy but she's afraid that she's gonna miss her single life.
wat do u think she should do?
opinion on my c box pls=))

today is 4th march.
ppl must be enjoying jason mraz concert rite now.
it's a memorable ( no i dun like him ) day.
it's just part of the MEMORY
=)

i read abt valentines day in chialoon's blog.
its browsing in my mind.
i've gotta say.
i'm impressed.
its true how he put it.
Y ppl can have a happy ending and i can??
i feel so...gaahh...fucked up
well..
watevaaa..
i have my babes=)


sorry GRACE!!!!!!
u noe i love u=)

loves.

DAMN IT!!

CANNOT PUT SONG

zzz

Time: 9:27pm

Status: single

Mood: emo

yea..

another day..

went out with mom and bro..

but din buy anything..

no mood to have fun

aiks

i really wanna go tonite..

but no transport..

aiks!!!!!!

=(

iish..

stupid youtube..

iish==

这个慌

可以保守到几时？？

i've been emo-ing today~
i dunno y

i've been thinking
my life was great!..u noe..happy...stressless wen i was at primary
(despite the homeworks)
but now..
it ain't tat much of positive anymore...
not tat i'm complaining or wat..
i think i've grown..
through all the make up and break ups..
best friends to cat fights..
i've learn..

last time
it's just me and dancing..nothing else.
every weekend..
i'll be busy performing..
after school..
go straight to my dance school for classes..if not rehearsals..
lets say my school ends at 3 and my dance classes are at say..6
i'll have my lunch there..(aunty Maggie would cook..she's the receptionist)
do my homeowrk..
or hang out in the dressing room
my life was just..
there

now..
i have time..
for my frens..my family..
things have changed..
to good and to bad..
i do love my life now~
no doubt=)

haha
i dunno y
i just feel like expressing now~
loads of thoughts in my mind rite now..
hard to describe..

i've been having boy probs lately~
i'm single and i'm likin it~
but i also want a guy...
tat i like..
to accompany me..listen to me...care abt me..

i've been 'window shopping' lately
everywhere i go
there's just sooo many hot guys...
but i dunno them..

i went shopping for clothes the other day..
this really cute guy dress me up!!!!!! he chose clothes for me...and all..
but of course
after i left the store..i dun see him anymore..

i went for a haircut
another hot guy..did my hair and all...talked to me..
talk abt our homes..faily...schools..just talk!!!!! and laugh..
i got his card!!1with his name and number^^
but again
after i left...
no more

ytd
i was at Ipoh..
went to this sunglass shop..
a teenage boy and his mom ( i think)
his mom was talking to my mom..
then he was selling the sunglasses to me...
we were like...talking..and looking at each other..
laughing at those really huge sunglasses..
and then poof..
gone..cause i had to go..

see!!!!!!
window shopping rite!!!
i keep seeing something nice...
eeekkk

anyways
until someone i really like..
(not crush...LIKE)
i think single is still fine with me...
at least there's still freedom..
=D

owh
since i'm expressing..
i wanna say
Grace..
i dunno..
u said it was memories...
but i dunno y..
i dun think so...
like..
if u ask me...who are u missing??
or u noe those chain mails that ask u to think of a guys name??
he's name's the first that came to me..
wen ppl's close to him..
i'm jealous..
i dun think these are memories..
help me Grace~
help me =(

yeah~
felt soo much better
haha
anyways~
I finish 10 episodes of 家好月圆 today!!!
which conclude to
I finish the whole thing!!!
woots~~
haha^^

well
tat's wat happen today
tv the whole day
usual me rite??
haha

ok
ciaoss

你要面子？

我给你面子

好啦

跟全世界说啦

你赢咯

是啦

是我害到你这样的啦

我错完咯

sorry咯

okay..
i came back expecting a normal day at home..
but..
nooo..
my mom's angry...so's my dad..
and i dunno where the hell my brother went..
lol

well~
i din't post that i was going to genting cuase wanted to surprise Grace~~

ytd`
early morning..
go Yang's house..
it was HUGE!!!

then go fetch Han xian and Kai Chun
go genting~

everythign settle le~
check in`
go eat
play
eat play
long gai
eat
play

haha!!!!

today~
went out door~
woots!!!
i've played all those that i've never dared to play
except ''tiao lou ji'' which i will NEVER EVER play~
haha~
i had loads of fun

but unfortuantely
i have to come home today~
by 9!!!
so gin and i go buy bus ticket and all..
reach home alte
kena marah..
yea..
tat's how it leads to the whole unhappy family-ness today

well
tat's all
i'm sooo tired..
i've shorten everythign
lol

是我们感情缺乏安全感

还是我们不了解对方

算了吧

都是过去了

I FREAKING MISS THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!

still
wtf!!!

now i wanna..
rethink abt it...
iish!!!!

nvm..
calm
calm

today went to church
at first say want practise de
but Alice say
if dun finish the preparations
cannot practise dance..
all the kalvin's work
he give stupid excuses like..
dunno chinese..dunno how to use comp
farking bullshit!!!
zzz

ok..
so we rushed everything for him
then winson came in and shooed us out
scold scold scold..

then we practised..
etc etc

yea~
tat's my day

tmr need wake up freaking early
go elvin house practise
then go church meeting..
rehearsal..
another day

ciaozz

like..
@%@^$^%&$*^
i din freakin do anything wrong
ugh..

anyways..
sat.
morning go tuition
LAST TUITION OF D YEAR

then after that go shop with mom
went to Ed & ed
bought three shirts..
then my mom saw the owner got two cages of hamster..
manyak kawaii
so she talk to the owner abt the hamsters..
then the owner say
she bought 2
but give birth until two cages og baby hamsters..
so she gave us two
both females=)
but can play de..
same species with sze's chu seee..
very cute^^

at night got dinner with niick and family..
(some formal dinner..saw form 3 raymond too)
photos on f/book

sun.
met with terance and xiao sze at bobo
ate
talk
sfter that
went to ie yern's house for dance practise..
at night go F.O.S shop for winter clothes..

today
went ie yern's house again for practise..
they were hungry so walked to mamak
wen going home was raining
so we played in the rain
lol

well..
tat's all
everything shorten

tmr..
going to church to practise..

20-22 camp
26-28 genting
29 6M gathering
7 penang cousin which i dunno hu the hell is de wedding
18-25 family trip to chiiiina=)
27 meng kid come back to malaysia
27 onwards..
probably going out everyday with my cousins..since its like..every 10 years only they come back
lol

2009
3 meng hon's wedding
5 school reopen


er..
lazy put color..
lol

tmr last day of school le~dunno wat to feel
happy??
sad???
hmm

went to school
today is Sarah and jun ee's birthday~
happy birthday!!!!
=)

erm
had this three periods long talk by mrs kang , ms mala , and ms penafort..
abt behaving wen form 3 and la bla..
had a few laughs..

after break went to Lecture theatre with Yng Yuin and Moon
watched wall e
wasn't paying much attention
watch half way
me Yuin and Moon
go 1s
play Uno
lol

lunch time
no..
after lunch
i saw him
wen i was going up the stairs
he was going down
its like...
a weird feeling wen we look at each other..
i dunno how to describe..
he was wearing white again..
lolx

went to audi after lunch
lepak, sing and played cards ( though i wasn't suppose to )

after school
went to Petaling Street with yuin, Pei and Venn
but venn left after we had bubble tea
then the ting wei suddenly appear..
scare dou

shop..shop..shop
then eat wantan mee
=)
then go buy popiah for popo they all
then go home le

I was told abt wat happened this afternoon
luckily no one got hurt..
=D

okay~~
was told rihanna's having a concert at Spore now...
..
hmm

okay~
tmr last day of school~
12 o clock school over~
i think after tmr i wont see nor yng anymore unless we plan to go out~
hmm
good luck gurls~
keep in touch=)
loads of love yea~

after school tmr will go cheong k with yuin moon dong and mayb cher~
hmmm
lolx

ciaoozz

Name: Rachel

Age:  er.. few months old

Date Of Death: 9/11

Time Of Death: 15.02

Message:

Rest in peace baby~

oh..
so this is the way..

sorry Jing
ur birthday is not a good day for me..
first my hamster died..
now i just saw his pm...
i think he's dating..
i hope its another...
misunderstanding??
i can't even think straight now
i'll sign off now...