LOVEEE

OH NOOOO
i have L.A.F.T.S.E disease =(
Lifeless After Favourite Tv Show Ended.
waaaaa =(

my little cousin bro introduced me to this taiwan show,
i never thought that i would be so into it,
others say it is boring,
but to me, it's so awesome.

really, i've never thought i would love a chinese show,
arghh, but it ended dy =(

owh owh,
this is the one.


love love love. =)


BTW
this is my hubby =)




BENJIIII =)

so hawt . ;)

Joshua Lah Yuen Hann, ILY!! =)

1990 , 02 of march,
an awesome person was born.
My brother =)




he's life was awesome,
until 4 years and 9 months later,
i came along.
and his life became AWESOMER xD






okay,
my momma once told me,
my brother was jealous of me when i first came back from the hospital.
he made paper balls and threw them at me, WHEN I WAS STILL A BABY .
aha, but, if i'm not wrong,
i have this memory ( i think) of my brother standing in front of me , arms spread wide open, protecting me from my father's beatings. awww =)
well we were kids larr. =)



growing up,
my brother's the independent type.
since standard one,
he's been living with my cousins...to catch the morning bus with them because
1. my parents had to work.
2. they're probably busy with me
... until he is in standard 5, he came home and my mom started fetching him because i started schooling as well xD
and in form 1, he went to Chung Hwa Independent High School and stayed in the hostel until form 5.
After from 5, he went to PLKN for 3 months.
see how in his life he is barely at home?
told you he is independent.



We weren't close to be honest.
I know my brother loves me just as much as I love him,
but growing up,
he wouldn't let me hug him.
but after he graduated form 5 and started living at home,
we became closer and he practically became my driver. well occasionally xD







and the whole family grew even closer.
my mom, bro and i would go for lunch EVERY SATURDAY.
like, its a must =)
and dinner every Saturday night with my daddy also.




and on the 18 of April, 2009,
another family member came, Liley.
and boy did she change our lives.
momma always refer Liley as her 3rd child.
we, however, calls her, the black thing at home.
yes my brother and i are jealous >:p
but we still love her =)

I might not have a sister,

but my brother is just as fun to talk to =)

he knows about my boyf problems.

like literally.

hahahahahaha.

and i noe about his girlf problems. xD

( okay okay. i was jealous when my brother told me he has a girlf last year. i thought i will have to share him with another girl )

Well, like it or not,

kor, you're stuck with me forever!!

like, eternity.

muahahahahaha

STUCK STUCK STUCK with my and mommy and daddy and the 'black thing at home'

FOREVER!!

=)

just wanna wish you all the best in London.

i noe you'll do great since you're the 'smart one' at home.

like seriously, you have NO IDEA how many times mommy tells me to be more like you, and praises you.

well, those are the consequences i have to face with a smart ass brother like you rite?

and you'll have to bare and pretend you're listening to those torturous lectures from daddy.

AHAHAAHA

xD
That's cause we love you =)

Be jealous, We're Awesome That Way =)

I love you bro bro.

MUUUAHHH.

What the FUCK is wrong with you people?

Honestly?
get a life.

i don't know what's up with them,
probably jealous or something.
Get lost you people,
he is MINE.
labelled ' property of NATALIE LAH PUI SZE '
yesss , mine.
so back of with your lies and bitching.
tell him whatever you want,
he knows they are not true.
so save it bitches.
stay away from my sayang.



and you,
look properly around you.
no one, and i mean NO ONE likes you.
=.=
when someone stop responding to whatever you are saying,
it means that they lost interest already.
but you're thick-skinned enough to keep blabbering about your life and your interests
and our business is not yours.
so butt off and leave us alone.
BITCH.

The end of my not-so-awesome holidays

School =(
school school school school school
even typing that word triggers a bad nerve in me.

It's very men-sad-kan thinking that holidays are almost over.
My cousins and i were complaining about it during dinner and my mom said
' I thought you said holidays were boring?'
Yes, MY holidays were a bore.
especially when my plans got canceled at the very last minute for 5 times throughout the holidays.
I practically spent EVERY FREAKING DAY at home.
well other than outings with Jing and the gang and trips to mamak stores with my best buds and well my personal trips. you know what i mean.

BUT
schooling is even worse.
Despise meeting my friends who have been VERY BUSY like how they told me, school is a place of evil.
The thought of going back to school..... do I even need to tell.
ESPECIALLY when you have to worry about your exam results. Not to mention walking back into the whole high school dramas. ANNOYING.

SIGHHHH.
I is sad =(

Debate 2

Yes people,
I've updated about debate before.

Well,
this week's been nothing but awaesome-ness,
despite the head scratching, brain bursting brainstorm moments,
Debate is superb.

Been skipping alot of class lately,
staying back till 4.30 everyday,
just to be in Derec for debate.
Derec is like a second home,
the debaters are like family <3

alaa. xsempat nak take pics with my sayang cos she went home ady

brought lappy to school today.

and we've been singing our lungs out to ellise's songs.

nanana =D

well, the only reason i can update today is cos i ( proud to say ) have finished one motion =D

of course with the help of my fellow debaters =D , internet and my brother.=)

WELL.

i guess its time to pack my brg for tmr's sleepover.. yang i hope will jadi.

lololol.

time to freak out.

AAAHHH =)

bai.

April.. is not my month

like wat i mentioned in my title,
April is certainly not my month.

so far..
after spending 12 days of this month.
it has been nothing but devastating.
bad news, bad luck, bad relationship, bad impression.
BAD BAD BAD.

well for the next 18 days,
i'm gonna TRY MY BEST to make them awesome.
settle things out,
make good decisions and well, be good =)

aih aih aih.
who am i kidding?
things happen for a reason.
the thing that bothers me the most is.
well u all noe.
HAIH!!
=(

and the debate thingie.
there's my parents...then friends i dont wanna dissapoint.
why do parents always use the
''Aih.. i dunno la. its ur decision. if i dun let u go u'll be sad.. u go laa.. HAIHHHHHHH" card??
are we suppose to feel guilty?
aiaiaiaiaiai.
i dunno what to do =(

well...
despite all those crappy things that has been happening in my life,
i wanna thank my friends for being there for me.
thanks for talking to me through the one hour call,
through msn,
even in school,
i thought i would be all moody today
but then THEY made me smile =)
thanks guys
i love you ppl!!! <3























Through ups and downs,
they've been there for me

That's Why I Love Them So Much <3

Chinese New Year.

i'm like in an effing moody situation now.
not cause things bother me,
but because i'm very tired.

been really unlucky lately.
okay.
i can only think it in two ways.
if positively, then it means that all my bad lucks happen now and after CNY, my luck-wheel will turn around. =)
if it's the other way around,
it's a sign.
yikes.

my gawwdd.
did any of you realize the weather nowadays??
its like.
sauna you know?
even wen the air-cond is on to the coldest,
it's still very hott.
HOW DO WE SURVIVE??

it's like 11 now
and i feel like taking a shower again.
even when i just took one two hours ago.
lol.
imagine the heat.

okay.
i feel bad cause i'm complaining abt CNY.
before it even happens.
actually i can't wait for it to come.
by that time, i can finally
: wear new clothes
: fill up my purse that has been empty for God knows how long =)
: have friends over =D ( omigawd i'm so excited. FINALLY!! )
: see my cousins . AWWW
: eat awesome meals every night.

can't wait can't wait!!!!
=D
teehee =)

i'm so blur rite now,
my visions are all vivid.
probably the effect of dog bites.
youch.
now,
its like a tiny mark on my face.
can be covered by make up =)
but the swelling.
it hurts so bad!! =( even when i laugh.

owh-my-gawd.
my house is like
FRIGGING CLEAN!!
my mom hired part time maids to clean the entire house today.
now, it looks new and there's a feeling of erm. you know when u get something new, u dont want anything bad happen to it?? yea. now at home, it's like that=)
it's so CNY-ish.
cos i got over excited with the decos.
ahaha
i mean, come on larr.
guests at home for the first time.
imagine the enthusiasm.
=)

okays.
i'm going to bed now.
i should really start studying for UP1 is coming soon =)
okies.
nitess =)

loves yall

Mozilla Firefox

i wanna update but then the stuppppid Mozilla Firefox lagged and deleted all my info.
Now, i have to go to bed cos it's late
plus my father is literally screaming in my face.

stay tuned =)
loves.

What the feathers is wrong with you??

i noe i've said this b4.
but they said i'm not mean enough.
lawl
well, seeing it as a public blog,
i didnt wanna express my anger towards that worthless woman.
aha.

i've been in this school for exactly one month.
in this one month,
i've judged, misjudged, made friends, made real friends, had more ups than down, went partying, stayed home studying etc etc.
making good progress.
actually
i'm still insisting on TRYING not to blurt out my ''mars language''
and in this post,
i wanna thank that woman.

if it wasn't for you,
i wouldn't have known hu's to trust and hu's not.
if it wasn't for you,
i wouldn't have tried to noe other ppl better.
if it wasn't for you,
i would have worked my ass off, well actually i wont . decorating the class. aha sorry 4sc 1
if it wasn't for you,
i wouldn't have things or topics to talk to my friends abt.
if it wasn't for you,
i would have been angry abt other things ( well since u're here now, i can focus on ''disliking'' you and focus less on being angry at other things)

so i wanna bow my head
and sincerely say thanks=)
LAWL!!!
after my very wonderful speech,
i feel like being mean.
aha

well first of all
she's a worthless, self-loving RB
which we all love and hate.
not in a good way of course.
we love her cos she's the talk of our dayssss.
we hate her cos. u noe =)

Like seriously,
wtf is running through your tiny little brains??
you think you're all that wonderful?
so beautiful, so smart
huh??!!!!
well i canot deny u're the study type.
since ur *** opens a ******* cen***
or whatsoever.
but it doesn't mean u have the farking rights to judge other ppl okay?

yea u're owh so pretty.
owh ya u're cheeks are pink
owh owh
nice eyes rite??

NEWS FLASH!!!
NOT!
look into the mirror b4 coming to school.
owh wait.
you do
cos u have to put on make up every morning rite??
lemme tell you
one day wen u're old and cranky,
your face will be yellow and wrinkly.
and no matter how many fa***** you do
WONT HELP
ahah!!!!

save it woman.
your bad things??
everybody noes.
so you think telling my friends bad things abt me and then the next day just walk up to me and go all
"Natalie~~~ " with ur girly squeeky flirty voice and its all forgiven???
puh-leaseee.
==

How can you not see???
EVERYONE hates you
well in my opinion.
YOU DO NOE
but you're just trying to cover up wat u're losing
a little tip,
try changing instead of covering.
it will be soo much better

okay fine
u like to put on make up,
like to make other ppl ugly to make urself pretty
but please,
save it for urself
we dont wanna noe
stop bragging plsss.
in case u dont noe.
wen i was in class
i actually wanna listen
but with you nagging by my ears
telling me wat u own and wat u can do,
i cannot.

owh and..
dont be so racist larr.
i mean come on!!!!!
we're all in the same class.
u CANNOT
i repeat
CANNOT
just blurt out wat u wanna say without concidering the fact that
u're not the only race in class
understand????
okay u said its a joke
but do u even realise how much it hurts??
first time ppl laugh with you,
second time they will just smile
the third time
it just aint funny anymore.
mayb to you it's fun and joy,
but to others
its just plain shit/crap.

i've been in school for exactly one month
and u're already on my
"idontlike list."
i'll have to sayy
GOOD LUCK FOR THE REST OF YOUR FRIENDLESS LIFE
=)

p.s. if you wanna complain, get me expelled then go ahead,
but that's the work of a farking coward=)


well.
my mean post ends here=)

Attention Seeker Much?

i seriously have got nooooo idea why people would do anything it takes to get attention.
well
if the intension is good then i wont blame u
but if its the other way around.
then i'll say
'' WTH is WRONG with you??? "

too bad the way u seek attention pushes people away.
i dont wanna get all mean or angry cos wat for rite?
but
just wanna say
u dont realize huh?
i've been in this school for a month while u've been for 4 years
but i can see what u try to cover.
u noe??

seriously whey
if u're trying to blend,
find a nicer way
dont fake urself through
trust me,
i've been in situations back in that school
i noe

lawl
i'm giving u advice ==
lawl

watevs.

I'm boreeeed =(

i was blog hoping, fb profile hoping and photo viewing,
then i realize.
i wanna own


* a DSLR camera
* the hair curl thingie
* N97 -omigawd!!!
* my own laptop
* new clothes
* new shoes


ala..i wanna wear new dresses whey
but then
CNY coming.
and i'm NOT ALLOWED to touch them.
so my mom formed a secret compartment in our closets to hide new clothes.
baaaaaaahhh!!!! =(

my pimples are like flowers blooming
they just pop out out of no where.
and they hurt ><
GO AWAY!!!!!

well.
i'm just posting random things.
aha
seriously whey.
i think i'll go sleep
best way to spend my time =D
since i cannot do my hw coz my pencil box is missing.
its either i left it in school
or in the bus.
arggh. damnit
wen i finally feel like doing it
it didnt happen.
so much for wanting to be a good student =D

okay.
ciiao =D





cheer up.
mood swings??
u've been quiet larr.
it's scary. lawl
if u need someone to talk to.
we're always here kay? =)
loves.

Fuck i feel like crying again.

Can't believe things changed in a blink of an eye.
A couple of months ago,
i am friends with a group of ppl and poof
I'm hanging out with another,
then now another group again.

i guess i don't have good ren yuan.
it seems that whoever i mix with ends up hating me.
I noe it's new years and all
but wth
i've gotta release out wat i feel
if not i'll die of pressure.

I guess this is wat they call.
peer pressure?
or some sort
haha.
now u noe why i got damn drunk the other night huh?

I look as though i'm laughing, haveng fun and wat not.
but inside
its HELL

well
apparently drinking is not an option.
gotta try other ways.
lol

well screw the past and start over
new school,
hopefully make some awesome friends
AIHHH..

I'm dying off now.
ciiao.


HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLE!!.


shud i unprivate my blog??

i am currently overwhelmed =)
i can't wait for tmr. =D

nowadays in shopping mood.
ytd went to ts and sw.
suppose to buy blazer for my bro and dinner dress for my mom
but end up buying my stuff.
i feel so bad =(
but they bought their stuff also la.
haha

hmm.
this weekend really has been up and down.
owh well
things change =)

I am sorry i misjudge.
I am sorry i disappoint people.
I am sorry i don't do wad others want me to do.
I am sorry if i hurt someone out there.
I am sorry i am not a good friend.
I am sorry i am not a good sister.
I am sorry i am not a good daughter.
I am sorry i can't make people happy but instead make people moody.
I am sorry i break stuff.
I am sorry i don't follow rules all the time.
I am sorry for being afraid.
I am sorry for barging in.
I am sorry for everything.


I am sorry i ain't perfect.

p.s. : i realize.. finally.

Bi don't scold me ya.
my mom allow me to blog=)

i'm dying at home nowadays.
ugh
bored bored!!

nothing to update la.
i wanna go out!
i wanna partayy!
i wanna go clubbing ><
gaah ><

Here's my update boy=)





No doubt i'm really touched
by all those things u did.
but now
i'm thoroughly pressured by studies.
and i dun wanna let them threatened me anymore,
on purpose or not.
i've moved on
well 70% at least=)
its a good start rite?

okok
i just wanna say
thank you=)
but now its abt PMR =)
okay?
so we stay how we are now kay?
=)

Why say sorry when u're not wrong.
I think i'm the one who should be sorry,
It's my own problem for falling in love so easily.
I'm the one who didn't learn to back off in the beginning.

So i'm sorry,
to both of you.
I wish you two
happy always.
appreciate each other.
stay together.

you guys deserve each other.
it took me alot of courage and strength to write this post.
i noe i've been emotional
but
how did u think i would react?

I will still like you,
and still talk to you.
but things might change and.
i dunno how well i can take this.

i was touched wen u talked to me like tat.
at least u gave me a jiao dai.
i dont blame neither of you.
i can only blame myself.

so now.
as i've said.
stay happy both of u.

AHHHH
the sweet smell of home ><
i'm soooo tired =)

i had sooooooooooooooo much fun ytd =D

okok
so wen we reach the church,
we went for reahearsal.
then went back to the salon to change, makeup and do our hair.
then
went to Island Red cafe with Hoe.
makan.
then go back to the hall
show time!!!!

it was fine.
great=)
okay.
cut the story short.
Nee is one of the 3 champs for this season.
lol
Gratz baby.

after the comp,
we ( Sze nee, Brenda, Saik Hoe, Bianca, Angel, Gi po, Gi po's parents, Hui Quan, Sher Lok and I)
went to Bkt Bintang to eat our supper.
so full><

then went to Gi's house,
met with Harry, Nicholas, Marcus and Charissa.
then Gi's driver fetched Brenda, Nee, Hoe, Quan Angel and i back,
actually Brenda and I only went to nee's house to get back our things.
then we went back to gi's place. while the rest above went home.

met with Gi, Bi, lok, Marcus, nicholas, Harry and Charissa at a mamak.
then went back to gi's house to get somethings,
then
here comes the fun!!!

we went to Poppy.
i only had one cup of alcohol kay!!!!!!!!!
then the girls plus Nicholas went to the dance floor and dance!!!!!!!!!!!
woots!!!
so much fun.
the songs were hot.
we were dancing.
wheeeeeeee

kay kay
after all that,
about 2am
we went back to Gi's house.
stayed downstairs
looking out into the rain.
lols

Charissa left,
then we went to mamak again,
was about 2.30.
Bren slept there,
lol
we chatted, THEY smoked.
laughs, jokes. etc.
haha

it was raining very heavily so we were stranded at the mamak till like
5??
walked back to gi's house.
hang a while
then Brenda's brother came to fetch us.

went back to Bren's house.
whoahhh
it was like an antique house.
lol

so tired.
so Brend took me to her K room.
we slept there at 6.30am.
i woke up at 11.
so tired now,
haha
then my mom came and fetch me
went for lunch,
came home.
clean up
and here i am.

haha
i think i will sleep now.
lol

ciaoz

A girl's heart is like an egg,
once broken
it will never heal.

i'm at Quan's house with Brenda and Nee!!!
lols
i miss fun so much><
trials was nothing but shooting.
lols

anyway.
ytd after school,
i came here with nee and brenda by nee's van.
then after coming in,
we practised and practised,'
then shower,
call pizza.
then all squeeze in hoe's room to sleep
haha
zadou,

we chat a while,
then went downstairs
chat
came up,
chat
lol

sleep dy,
the brenda's phone kept ringing.
zzz
but i slept at last.
lol

9 am wake up.
roll here roll there.
hoe oso woke up
he played music.
then everyone wake up

brush up,
go down cook maggie'
and here i am.
><

wish nee luck today=)

xoxo

Life memang is like this,
i cannot ask for more.
i kept telling myself.
dun step too deep,
if not
this is wat u get.
wat did u change by crying all night?
like jing saidm
i should gratz him.
but can i reallyn do it??
i dunno.
aihs.

Love sux--2

Pianngggg

lol

damn emo nowadays,
eversince he came back .
not suppose to happen!!!!
i dun wan him to think that i'm desperate and stuff..
==

this weekend,
all i did was watch tv.
haha
me and my tv.
my mom said i invented tv that's y i'm so addicted to it.
lol

i wonder y ppl dont update their blogs.
i have a fren hu didn't update his blog since his birthday on february ==
others only update once in a blue moon,
so,
now i got tired of viewing their blogs==
i mean,
then wats the point of having a blog wen u update only once in 6 months??
lol

wellll..
i'm of to studyy.
iish

Today,
many things happened.

But a secret is to be kept=)

heh.

had syarahan today.
other than the three winners,
i dun think the rest even care to prepare?
haha

I'm more courageous now.
i dare to talk to him d.
but he still never replies my msg.
lol.

Its their problem
i mean,
its between him him and her.
how many times had i say this?
we only advice,
dun gao so many things la.
want one of you kena expel only happy izit?
alright we all have opinions,
talk it out peacefully,
dont be so childish
cari pasal.
besides,
you think fight fight fight very man meh?
i dont think so lo.
You guys fight le then?
she will be with him back?
i dont think so,
facts are facts,
decisions made,
nothign else can change it.
except for herself.

Girls,
i've repeatedly said this over and over again,
its her happiness we're talking about.
if you would rather listen to a guy u're not that close to
than a girlfren hu loves u with all her heart,
then u are not a true fren.
I never dare to write stuff so straight forward.
but this has got up to my head.
and i felt that u should really noe,
it hurts her more,
she's the victim now.
threatening her back into his arms wont work.
you guys noe that.
she's only looking for happiness.
y stop her?
imagine if u want to do something
and ur frens says that they will hate u,
leave ur gang and stuff if u do so,
but u only will be happy if u have done so
then how?
Understand where she is standing,
i'm not siding anyone,
just that
its her decision
we should respect it.

If you guys read this post le,
still dont want to realise and wake up,
then really nothing can help you guys le.